Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Not a Family Value: The "War on Christmas"

Christmas is not my favorite holiday. Growing up, I liked the idea of Christmas, but I usually dreaded the actual event, which usually included long car rides, family bickering, and visits to relatives who did not actually like all the members of my immediate family. My husband, however, loves Christmas, as do my children, so I have learned to love the holiday more as an adult.



Since my feelings about Christmas are already somewhat mixed, especially being a non-religious person, it's no surprise that I would also have strong, but mixed, feelings about the "War on Christmas" debate that frequently rages around this time of year. I usually see two different complaints about Christmas, which can be summed up as follows:



Complaint 1: Christmas is too commercial

This argument is one that I remember from my own childhood. It is frequently accompanied by laments that Christmas decorations appear earlier and earlier ever year. I have to say that I can sympathize with people who feel this way. As young parents, we were frequently caught up in the desire to make a big, impressive pile of presents under the tree for our daughter. We now wish we hadn't set such high standards for the holiday, as the current economy has taught us the importance of our non-material possessions. I was proud this year to see that while my kids had wish lists for Santa, they were relatively short. Overall, though, I'm a fan of Christmas commercialization. I like hearing the music and seeing the decorations in stores. I like the tinsel on the streetlights in my town. We're going to Disney the week before Christmas just to get our fill of twinkly lights. I can only imagine what this focus on glitz must feel like to a person who just wants to quietly commemorate the birth of their personal savior. This brings me to the second complaint:



Complaint 2: Everyone has forgotten the reason for the season

I'll just set aside for a moment the fact that pagans of all kinds were celebrating the winter solstice long before monotheism had been invented. In America, Christianity dominates, and many people feel it is only fair that Christians be catered to with Christmas displays in every store. What amazes me, though, is the way that people fail to see how this leads us directly back to Complaint 1. If you want every person you see this month to wish you a Merry Christmas, whether they share your belief in God, Jesus, and the Bible or not, then you are indeed contributing to the secularization of Christmas. Not everyone you see is a Christian, so if you want them to share your holiday with you, they are going to dilute it. Christmas can either be a holiday that Christians celebrate simply and devoutly, or it can be a holiday that all Americans share, regardless of belief, in our typical consumeristic excess. Indeed, it can even be one of these things at your house and the other at my house. It cannot, however, be both of these things at the same time all over the country.


When someone says "happy holidays," chances are they are not trying to wage war on anyone. They simply want to celebrate this festive time as humans have done for thousands of years, and they want to do it without any particular religious overtones. If you want to insist that they pretend to be religious, most Americans will acquiesce out of simple politeness. After all, they certainly don't want anyone to start "witnessing" to them in the middle of the mall. It's easier to give the kids "Christmas" presents than to explain to everyone why you do your gift exchanging about three days too soon every year. But maybe it's time for religious America to make up their collective mind about this holiday. Do you want to keep Christ in Christmas, or do you want to keep Christmas holy and let everyone else have their "holidays?"

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